the music in my head
playing on loops of memory
atmosphere music
merging past and present
merging sorrow, joy
blurring all the lines
till i'm nothing
a puddle on the floor
(on the main street where I grew up
that I stepped in with rubber boots
and rosy cheeks
curls flying)
a cobweb under the desk
(my dead kitten chewing wires there
like bubblegum
guiltless blue eyes hiding
in the laundry basket)
lines of memory cross
reproduce
sprout strange hybrids
(you were there
you weren't there
there was snow)















Comments
its really nice, it does have that nostalgic feeling. a tinge of sadness but i think it's just right..
also I think playing with the structure of the poem would also do wonders to the feeling of the poem.
It's a great work in progress!! id love to read the completed version ^^
THank you for the feedback! I want to keep working on it...I am going to start doing a bit more, hopefully, now that I am single and all that stupid stuff...-.-
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"There is a thin line between cute and psychotic"- Leigh Young
"Self preservation, it seems, may smell of formaldehyde."-John Barth
aww :c ( how are you doing by the way? are you ok?? DX )
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"There is a thin line between cute and psychotic"- Leigh Young
"Self preservation, it seems, may smell of formaldehyde."-John Barth
beautiful! Yes, kinda sad, but.. beautiful!!!
I really see myself within those words
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and sleep.. sleep is the brother of death..
How are you doing?
--
"There is a thin line between cute and psychotic"- Leigh Young
"Self preservation, it seems, may smell of formaldehyde."-John Barth
im doing fine.. quite.. preoccupied with some things. xD i think i sort of lost my drive to draw.
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"There is a thin line between cute and psychotic"- Leigh Young
"Self preservation, it seems, may smell of formaldehyde."-John Barth
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